Fact: this not a suppository. (unless you’re into that kind of thing)
Dear Toronto Maple Leafs,
While your apology letter to your fans was heartfelt, it was completely unnecessary.
In the grand scheme of things, the Leafs lost a bunch of hockey games and didn’t make the playoffs. Again. Who cares? Why does that warrant an apology?
It’s not as if you are a corporate food manufacturer who made people fatally ill with a bunch of tainted deli meat. It’s not as if you are a well known Canadian technology company who cost businesses millions of dollars when your heavily-relied-on system crashed. You are a hockey team who lost. Big deal.
Your letter reeks of inflated self importance. “We’ve fallen short of everyone’s expectations, and for that we are sorry…we want to make you proud.” Sorry, Leafs, but you’re not that important. No professional sports team is.
In the future, please allow apology letters to be the domain of organizations, corporations, and politicians who really let us down by sacrificing the the things we truly value, like hospitals, affordable housing, old age security…etc.
However, if you want to apologize for anything, apologize for the obscene price you charge for tickets to see your team play. That is something worthy of an apology.